Join the Family Business
by CityCat
Summary: Set after Frankenweenie, Victor Frankenstein devises his next science fair project with a little unwanted help. Through his experiment, he discovers the secret of his family legacy from none other than Frederick Frankenstein himself! Warning: Highly recommended to see Frankenweenie and Young Frankenstein prior to reading this fanfiction. Thank you.
1. Playing by the New Rules

**JOIN THE FAMILY BUSINESS**

Disclaimer: Mel Brooks and Tim Burton own all characters from _Young Frankenstein _and _Frankenweenie _respectively. I highly recommend seeing both movies prior to reading this fanfiction as it does contain some spoilers. The story takes place after _Frankenweenie. _

In the quaint town of New Holland, Pennsylvania, a sixth grader by the name of Victor Frankenstein stared out his bedroom window, waiting out the fourth episode of thunderstorms that occurred in the last twelve hours. Thanks to monsoon season, school was cancelled for two whole weeks. Victor missed school where he'd at least not be bored out of his mind; staying cooped up inside is too dead boring...well, almost too dead.

"Arf!" a canine voice called from the hallway. Sparky—Victor's reanimated bull terrier—bolted into the boy's lap, shaking every stitch that held him together.

"Hi boy." Victor scratched Sparky behind the ears, taking care not to unravel the patchwork. It had been nearly a year since his dog officially died of a car crash and it began to show terribly on the body. There were more holes in Sparky than in Tiger Woods' driving range. Sparky picked up on Victor's boredom and peered around for a solution. He sniffed around the baseball bag and pawed at the ball pocket. "Not today, Sparky. It's too wet to go outside."

"Arf!" The dog leapt onto Victor's bed with a book between his teeth: _How to Avoid the Life of Mediocrity, _by Wilbur Rzykruski. Victor smiled at the name; if it wasn't for his fifth grade science teacher's demonstrations, Sparky would have never returned from the grave. Unfortunately, Mr. Rzykruski got sacked in the middle of science fair season for his passionate outlook on science and distant hope in humanity. He gave Victor this book on their parting day to remember him by.

"Good idea, boy. It's been a while since I picked this up." He dusted off the cover and flipped to the first chapter. "Chapter 1: 'Are You a Human Being or a Human Doing?' Here's a list detailing everything your government does not want you to know..."

Following a weekend of overcasts, the next Monday remained clear of lightning. "Victor! It's time for school," Mrs. Frankenstein hollered up the stairs. Sparky busied himself by scanning the kitchen for any traces of French toast.

"I'm coming!" he replied. He slipped on his backpack and met his mom at the door.

"Have a nice day at school, sweetie." She kissed him on the forehead.

"Thanks, Mom." She handed him a packed lunch and saw her son pedal his bicycle out of sight. Without her knowing, Mr. Frankenstein tiptoed into the foyer and hugged his wife from behind.

"Good morning, love."

"Morning, hun. I thought you were already at the travel agency." She turned around and stroked the black wisps of hair out of his face.

"Nah, Charles took the morning shift today for some extra dough. I'm going in at two." Victor's dad worked as a travel agent and had connections with every real estate company in Pennsylvania. If this afternoon's meeting was successful as planned, a new family will relocate in their neighborhood. One of the boys is Victor's age, and the Lord knows he could use a friend. Maybe this time, he could start his project with someone else for the annual science fair at the school.

"Did Victor mention what he wants to do for the fair this year?"

"Not that I know of, dear. The school's restricting the projects so much now that the entire method must be pre-approved by the board." In fact, Victor really didn't feel like putting his soul into his project this year. After the incident last year, maybe it would be best to just back down and let Toshiaki take the trophy.

Victor groaned when he heard who was teaching sixth grade science. Rumor has it that Mrs. Klymdred came directly from a prison in the Bermuda Triangle on a mission to torture children in school to make up for the decade she spent behind bars. "Good moooorning!" she trilled with a clenched smile. The class grew quiet under her gaze. "I am the new investigative science teacher this year, Mrs. Klymdred. But you can call me Mrs. K for short. K?"

"K," echoed the class in a hollow, monotonous voice. She was beautiful, yet frightening at the same time. She had short blonde hair that stopped at the shoulders, a slim, muscular body that could be described as "toned", and a pair of icy blue eyes that you felt were watching you even when she turned around to claw the board with her chalk.

"I'm sure you've all heard the new rules regarding science fair projects this year. Partners are optional, but you'll need to think of a question to challenge, write a thesis, sketch out your procedures and methods, and deliver them to me by next week for safety evaluation." Victor propped up his head with an elbow. All of that written stuff just to make sure everyone's ideas are safe? Whatever happened to the universal saying, "the sky's the limit"? Pretty soon, Victor thought, schools will resort to stupid websites that search every piece of work for plagiarism and wreck the beautiful virtue of trust between teacher and student.

"Yessss..." Mrs. K referenced her clipboard for a name. "...Toshiaki?" Victor stole a glance behind him and it was evident that Toshiaki didn't approve of these regulations.

"Mrisssus Kill'em'dead," he began in his thick Asian dialect. "Wurr can I fiyend-ah these rules in writing?"

"You can all grab a standard packet from this stack here and look it over. Follow the rubric to the letter and you'll have no complications." Victor noticed that neither of them blinked the entire time. Awkward was in the air. He followed suit and took the thick packet of board-approved documents. Toshiaki skimmed the fine print and grinned.

"I will give this a good going through," he whispered to Bob. "If thurr is one ting vital to success, it is the aret of locating loopholes in docruments."

Victor found Sparky waiting for him in the backyard with a boomerang. "Arf! Arf!" He picked up the boomerang and headed for Victor's outstretched arms.

"Hey boy; want to play fetch?" Victor took the toy and threw it below the gate away from the road. Sparky chased its shadow until it zoomed in the opposite direction. This got a laugh from Victor. "Hahaha, I should've warned you that boomerangs do that." The toy returned to his hand, much to Sparky's amazement. "It's got something to do with the way it curves at an angle. If you throw it just right, it'll come back a few seconds after you toss it. Watch what happens when I make it circle around the house!"

The boomerang soared through the air and wrapped itself around the back porch. It soon flew out of sight on the other side. Victor expected to see it come full circle when he heard an "Ouch!" from right outside the gate. He entered the front yard where Edgar (also known as simply "E") Gore rubbed his head next to the boomerang.

"Edgar, will you stop stalking me already? I'm sure you have better things to do with the school project outline coming up." Last year, he made the fatal mistake of showing E how to reanimate a dead fish under blackmail. Edgar then blabbed his project to everyone else who copied the idea and basically ruined science fair forever. The hunchback shook off the pain and asserted himself directly in front of Victor with his persuasive face.

"Stalking you? What makes you think I would ever stalk _you_?"

_FLASHBACK..._

Two weeks ago, Mr. Frankenstein thought it would be a great idea to take his son on a hiking trip. "We'll have a little father and son time! It'll give you some fresh air and lots of thinking space."

"Sure Dad; I guess that could be fun." Later that evening, the two of them went grocery shopping for packed lunch type items. Victor was in charge of the fruit and vegetables, while his dad managed the bagels, Twinkies, and Slim-Jims.

They headed out the next morning to Holland Hill, which in reality was more of a mountain than a hill. Once they pitched the tent built for two, Victor opened his fruit pack. "Dad, there's only one apple in here. I'm positive I had one more," he said, feeling utterly annoyed.

"Check in my bag; I'll start searching for some firewood while the sun's still high." His father left when Victor saw a queer shadow on the tent. His mind reasoned the possibility of a grizzly bear, so he approached the zipper with a pocket knife in hand. It wasn't a bear, but he was right about it being queer.

"Heyyyy," breathed Edgar, waving at him with a pale hand. "You left this on the supermarket counter." He dug the apple out from somewhere inside his striped shirt and tossed him the missing apple. Victor stared at him in astonishment. "Double-check your groceries before you leave, ok? Oh, and you might want to give this to your pop." He produced a couple of coupons and handed them to his classmate, who was still in shock. "Powdered donuts go great with Slim-Jims, and they're on sale!"

_END FLASHBACK_

Victor crossed his arms to rest his case. Edgar also crossed his arms and stood up on tiptoe. "Hey, I was being nice and _happened_ to notice abandoned produce you paid for." Yeah, mused Victor, that's exactly how it happens every week. Edgar grinned and remembered what he came for. "We can be partners for the science fair, right? I mean, if I'm on your side, there's nothing I'd want to tell the others. Plus, this could be a great opportunity to work on our friendship!" _What friendship? _Victor wanted to shout. But that sounded too rude, so he discarded the thought.

"That's alright E, but I'm going solo again. I work more efficiently alone on my own schedule. Look at it this way: if my project's bad, then it's my grade and nobody else goes down with me. And if your experiment goes well, you get all the credit since it's your work. Get it?"

"Got it...but if we team up, we could share ideas and get everything done twice as fast! We could make a DEATH RAY!" Edgar was really getting on his nerves now.

"How many times do I have to tell you that the packet specifically mentions 'No Death Rays'?!" Victor opened his backpack, flipped to the prohibition page and stuck it in his face.

"Fine, but what about shark socks? We could design killer socks that eat people from the bottom up. They'll never see it coming!" His classmate lowered the papers and stared at him like a deer caught in headlights. What was it about this kid that made him so homicidal? Maybe he should consult his parents about a restraining order. No one in his family ever had to deal with creepy stalkers. Did they?

"Edgar, why don't you try thinking of an invention to _help _mankind, like a teleporter?"

"What's a teleporter?" E inquired with intent eyes.

"A device you use when you REALLY want to escape from someone," Victor informed with an edgy tone. "Just press a button and instantly go somewhere else."

"Like in the future somewhere? Because that would be a time machine!" Edgar began to twitch in excitement.

"Perfect, use that! Construct a time machine, and I'm sure you'll win first place."

"Will you help me? I can't do it without you, and you're really smart!"

"Yes, okay I'll do it; I will help you make a time machine!" Victor clapped his hands over his mouth after realizing what he had just said, and that was all Edgar needed.

"Yay! Thank you, Victor! This is going to be awesome; we'll take the gold trophy home for sure!" E squeezed him firmly around the stomach, which was a little below his eye level, and skipped away back to his house. Victor hung his head in his hands. Did his ancestors ever have to deal with these kinds of problems? He'll soon find out.


	2. A Night in New Holland

**Author's Note: Mrrrow! CityCat here with an in-chapter announcement: I'd like to thank my faithful readers out there who have followed this story with eager anticipation, and I can say without hesitation that the wait has indeed paid off! Please enjoy what I am proud to call the second chapter of _Join the Family Business_!**

New Holland is not your average American city, nor will it ever be. Some of Victor's relatives compared the quaint little town to an Amish community when they realized that not a single soul in the city knew what a limousine or an IMAX was. It's no secret that New Holland wasn't as technologically advanced as New York, but it had a plain, peaceful breeze in the nighttime air; and its inhabitants liked it that way. You wouldn't find too many scientists or engineers there—Mr. Rzykruski pointed this out on a weekly basis. New Holland was simply one of those towns where nobody was way above average...unless you counted Victor, of course.

No, strike that! In the neighborhood adjacent to Victor's dwelled the strangest being in the whole northeast. She was the one they called "Weird Girl", and for a few legitimate reasons too. Firstly, normal girls don't bring their wide-eyed Persian cats to school and carry their alphabetical "creations" on hand. Second, she's known to have ESP, a heightened sixth mental sense with which she "predicts" the future. Third and foremost, she's insane in the membrane. Like Victor who always had Sparky to call his own, Weird Girl and Mr. Whiskers were an inseparable duo up until the moment when that fatal night changed him forever. He died in her very room and rose from the dead as a mutant bat, wreaking havoc until shish-kabobbed through the heart with nothing more than splintery shrapnel of windmill. The heartbroken girl found herself truly alone in an instant and was never the same since.

"Mr. Whiskers, can you hear me?" Weird Girl whispered softly to her armoire. In a brightly candlelit corner of what used to be her orderly bedroom, she had created a shrine directly above the last place he was alive. The cat's portrait stood upright between two dribbling candlesticks. To her question, it didn't reply. "You'll send me sweet dreams, won't you kitty?" The twin flames flickered back and forth, crackling in response. Weird Girl sat on her bed in silence, eyes intent on the portrait, praying for a sign from the other side. She and Mr. Whiskers had shared life as it came to them—for better or for worse.

A lone tear of a lost child slicked down her cheek for there is no solace for a solitary mourner. "I know you're listening; you have to be!" When the picture continued to let silence do the talking, she stood up and leaned on the shrine so that their thousand-yard-stares bore into the other's image. "You're my guardian angel," she finished before blowing out the flames. At once, a chilly breeze entered the room and the moonlight drenched the lone girl through her transparent windowpanes. She turned to her pillow when something caught her attention: where the breeze froze the candle wax in place shown two capital letters, "V" and "E".

Toshiaki let out a silent yawn, refusing to avert his copy of the official science fair regulations on Bob's desk. "Can we go to bed now, Toshiaki? You've been reading for hours!" Bob whined, pulling out his oversized sleeping bag.

"Not-ah yet, my friend. This year, on-ah-ly we teck home science trophy. You know we need a winning ide-ah for the out-eh-line."

"I already suggested trampoline shoes, you know! But if that's not cool enough for you—" Toshiaki rolled his eyes and wheeled his chair around to face him.

"I told-eh-you befwore: supah glrue-ing mini trampolines on moon shoes will not make peopwrel fly! Physics Lesson Noomberur One: What goes up, moost come down!" Bob puffed out his bottom lip in a full pout, clearly registering only every other word through his friend's thick vernacular. Toshiaki knew he was the smart one, but explaining science to Bob was like trying to coax a guinea pig into doing a back flip.

"But how do the astronauts do it? They don't come back down if they don't want to," he argued. Toshiaki shook his head at the lack of logic.

"That is because they leave Earth atmosphere and gha-ravity. When they return to Earth, gha-ravity take effect again, pwrulling them in close-ah and close-ah to the core."

"Oh..." sighed Bob in defeat. To cure his boredom, he pulled out his Magnetix case and began connecting the metal pieces together until... "Hey Toshiaki, I think these two are broken!" His friend turned the chair again and observed the scene. Bob was attempting to shove the ends of two Magnetix pieces together, but against his force they refused to touch. "See? They're supposed to stick to each other; that's what it says on the box!"

"Hmm, hauve you ter-ied turning one around?" Toshiaki asked, resting one hand on his chin.

"Huh?" Bob flipped a magnet to the other side and clicked them together with ease. His eyes grew as wide as his breakfast plate. "Whoa, how did you know that would work?"

"Magnets are Earth minah-rals with a positive side and a negative side. Two of same kind repel each other, so the force that attracts will be reversed." _Wait a minute!_ thought Toshiaki. _That's the answer, isn't it? Earth's core is magnet, yes? Since we are in Northern hemisphere, enough of the same magnet can be repelled against each other and reverse even gravity itself! _

Bob scrutinized the boy's face deep in thought. He could decipher Toshiaki's telltale smirk and knew right away he had an idea. "What?" he inquired curiously.

Toshiaki flipped to the fine print regarding hovering devices, read the content, and smiled. He stood up and plopped himself down, staring Bob full in the face. "How badly do you want to fly?"

Over at the Frankenstein place, Victor's father flounced around the dinner table, preparing everyone for the wonderful news. "They've agreed to an open house night, dear; the meeting was a success! Of course there's no seal and deal yet, but give it a little more time and we'll clinch that contract!" Mr. Frankenstein loved his profession as the company's model travel agent. He was only one happy home away from obtaining a hefty promotion, and the new family of clients was his one-way ticket.

"That is big news, sweetie!" Mrs. Frankenstein exclaimed beside him. "Why don't you tell Victor what you told me earlier today?" Victor looked up from his pumpkin pie and met his father's eyes.

"Alright. Victor, you know how ecstatic I am about this agency business, right?"

"Yep," he replied simply. He knew full well that his dad's office would more accurately be called his second home. It wasn't that he was boring (on the contrary, his vivacious personality could brighten up a graveyard) but that they hardly ever saw eye-to-eye.

"Do you know why I'm so ecstatic about this one?" his father intoned in his mentor kind of way. Victor shook his head. "I met the family today in person, and it includes a boy your age. How awesome is that—to have another buddy to hang out with?" Edward Frankenstein's smile widened, but his son didn't share the energy.

"I guess a new neighbor could be cool," said Victor who stared blankly into his pie. He was still thinking about the science fair and the project E tricked him into agreeing to. The deadline for the experiment outline was coming up fast, which reminded him to do something important. "Hey Dad, will you please sign my science fair permission slip? I need to turn this in by Monday." Victor unzipped his backpack and pulled out the blank slip with a pen. His mother raised an eyebrow.

"And what is my little scientist doing this year?" she teased, silently praying for a normal project like a baking-soda volcano.

"I'm going to try to build a time machine," Victor answered with a straight face. His parents shared a blank look and then turned back toward their son. "I don't know. A device that takes you to a different time period and relives your happiest moments sounds fun to me." Mr. Frankenstein fingered the pen thoughtfully.

"Who's your partner?" Somehow, Victor knew that question was coming. Last year, the only way he could have brought Sparky back to life was if he agreed to join the baseball team in an effort to "make friends". Except this time, he had an answer his father would approve of.

"Edgar." His mother grinned in approval while his dad ran a hand through his ebony hair, searching his memory for a face.

"Edgar...I don't—oh! I remember now: uh, shorter guy, striped shirt, hangs around the stadium bleachers?" Victor admittedly nodded. "All righty then! Have fun with your thing-a-ma-whats-it!" He handed his son the signed slip.

"Thanks Dad, I'll try." Victor slung his backpack around his shoulders and turned to the stairs. "I'm going to check up on Sparky, and then I think I'll go to bed. Goodnight!"

"Sweet dreams, darling. We love you."

"I love you too," Victor automatically answered, heading down the upstairs hallway. He found Sparky sleeping on recharge next to his bed, shuddering shakily with every heaving breath. Victor knew for quite some time Sparky would only last for so long after death. Electricity still rejuvenated his veins, but his framework developed a tolerance to the shock as time wore out the patchwork. He knelt down beside his best friend and hugged him close. If he was successful at turning back time, maybe there was a way to never say goodbye.


	3. The Making of the Machine

The oven clock read 4:01am when it began to beep. Edgar stopped whisking six egg yolks to turn off the sound, hoping his mother was still asleep. When the yolks looked well blended enough for his satisfaction, he added the cream to the mix and slid the dish into the conventional oven before taking off his mitts and hanging his spotless apron. _Shuffle, shuffle._ Edgar flinched at the sight of his sleepy mother standing outside the kitchen taking a look around her once-clean countertop.

"Eddie, what are you doing in here?" she asked, staring down at her son.

"M-making Crème Brûlée." Edgar gulped down his nervousness. Normally, his mother could care less; he cooked all the time. But this day marked something quite significant that caused her to overreact to everything—this was the day his father died thirty years ago.

"It's four o' clock in the morning, Edgar. Why on Earth are you making Crème Brûlée?" She sounded hurt, like she needed a hug. E tried hard, like every year, not to notice the rollercoaster of emotions about to take off.

"Victor and I are starting the science project today, Mom. Mrs. Klymdred approved our experiment." Well, that was only half true. Here's how it really went:

_FLASHBACK_

Mrs. Klymdred paced the front of the room with her clipboard military style. "Children, your project ideas have been checked and graded. I will now read aloud your names and whether or not you can start your little experiments." Edgar turned to Victor, crossing his fingers for good luck. Bob smiled at Toshiaki, who gave a firm nod. Weird Girl leaned forward with her thousand-yard stare; no one knew exactly why anyone would assign those two ever-wide eyes behind everybody else.

"Toshiaki and Bob, approved. Elsa and 'Weird Girl', approved. Nassor, denied." Nassor sulked in his chair. No one seemed to understand the life-changing benefits of a reverse taxidermy. Klymdred continued in her loud voice, "Sofia and Jackson, denied. Drew, denied. Mitt and Paul, approved. That's all the definites this year. We'll discuss why the failures didn't make the cut tomorrow." Victor raised an eyebrow; did Edgar's time machine idea pass or not? He packed up his notebooks and followed behind everyone else lining up near the door.

"Wait," Klymdred ordered, pulling her clipboard closer to her tightened face. "Brainiac, Freak-Show; stay. Everyone else, get lost!" Edgar and Victor froze in place until only the three of them were left in the room. She sat down at her desk and beckoned them nearer. "What is this?" she inquired coldly, brandishing their neatly completed experimental outline.

"That's what we want to do for the fair this year, Mrs. K." said Victor coolly.

"I-It's a good idea, r-right?" E murmured behind Victor. Tall, fierce women would intimidate anybody, but he was the worst at hiding it.

"If by 'good' you mean impossible! I can't legally split your heads open and read your minds, but frankly, there's nothing against time machines in the book. It appears I would have to approve your project on that basis." Victor broadened his grin at the news. "However, you can't collect data with a hypothetical machine. You build the thing, and then what? Sorry, but you cannot test anything with this beyond its function, because there's no telling what could happen on the other side. You cannot attain a trophy for this, but you get a green card to build it." Victor's grin receded and he nodded his head.

"We understand," he replied briefly. Mrs. Klymdred documented the file and stood up to leave.

"Excellent; see you two tomorrow." She walked out of the school behind them and headed toward her car. "Heh, a time machine!" she laughed to herself. "Cheating time is like cheating death—impossible!"

_END FLASHBACK_

"Oh really?" Mama Gore's voice now dripped with bitter sarcasm. "Well, you kids have a good time enjoying each other's company and working together." She shuffled nearer to her son and ran a hand through his hair. Then without warning, she grasped his shoulders and shook him about. "TELL ME MORE ABOUT HOW YOU SUCCEEDED IN LIFE!" Edgar tried to speak but nothing came out; his usually normal mother was terrifying him. She let go and began to break down on the spot, covering her albino face with her hands. Edgar handed her the emergency tissue box and embraced her thin form, silently praying she would be okay alone at home. The oven timer sounded; time to torch the sugar coating on top.

When he arrived at the Frankenstein's, E found Victor on the computer reading something from the archeologist site. "Hey I brought you some Crème Brûlée!" Victor looked up first at E and then the transparent container in his hands. The dessert looked fresh and delicious.

"Thanks, Edgar. Did your mom made it?" E stifled a laugh.

"Nope, _I _baked it!" Victor struggled to conceive it; not many sixth grade boys knew how to bake five-star delicacies. "What are you reading?" he asked, pulling up another chair in front of the screen.

"This is just something I found on what we need for the time machine. Check this out: legend has it that New Holland is home to the fabled 'Father Time's Pocket Watch'. This pocket watch is said to be so accurate, turning its hands counterclockwise actually rewinds time itself!"

"Wow, does it really exist?" Edgar fixed his eyes on the website's picture.

"Well, it IS on the internet, so yes—of course the watch exists!"

"What are we supposed to do with an old clock, Victor?" E still didn't grasp the concept behind the artifact.

"This is our big ticket item, E. I'll need to construct a dock for the watch and connect it to the portal. Meanwhile, I need you to acquire the piece itself. Can you do that?" E nodded and wrote the crossroads of the building on his larger left hand in sharpie.

"It's not too far from here by car, but it'll take me longer walking it."

"Do you think you'll have it by six tonight?"

"I KNOW I'll have it by six tonight!" E exclaimed, not missing a beat. He fitted his satchel over his shoulder and took to the road. "Remember," he called back to Victor. "Crème Brûlée only stays good for so long out of the fridge!"

Once E was out of eyesight, Victor revisited his laboratory where Sparky lied connected to a charger. Sparky sensed him in the room and strained to open his eyes. "You'll be fine, boy. I'll take care of you." Victor knew he was lying to avoid the truth, but sometimes a comforting falsehood does wonders for a steadily bleeding heart. He put on his stethoscope and listened to Sparky's pulse. _Thump...thump...Thump...thump. _It beat even slower since the last time Victor checked it. "Not today," the boy moaned to himself. "Please, not today." He placed the stethoscope back on his desk and stroked his sleeping dog, still as death. "Oh, Sparky..."

Edgar stopped at what looked like a really fancy museum with its gilded columns and revolving door. The sign on the front read in large, shining lights, "The New Holland Clock Emporium". He shrugged his shoulders and strolled inside. Clocks everywhere, tall and small, greeted him with their harmonious ticking. Most of them looked hand-crafted, delicate, and expensive. "Good evening, young man. Can I help you find something?" Edgar turned his attention to the voice, staring up at a beautiful uptown woman with golden silk gloves.

"Hello, I'd like to buy a pocket watch. It's for my best friend." The woman glanced around the building of various clocks and didn't know where to start.

"What kind of watches does your friend like? We have several series of watches designed by the most renowned craftsmen across Europe, if you'd like to see those."

"No thanks. I'm looking for Father Time's watch. You have it here, right?" She eyed him suspiciously, drumming her gilded fingers on her glass countertop.

"Yesssss. It's very expensive, a one of a kind. I highly doubt you can pay for it."

"Try me," said Edgar in all seriousness.

"$300,000 including insurance plus tax." His eyes widened and dropped to the floor. He didn't have that kind of money. He only brought with him $299,999. E reasoned that since every price ended with a "99", he'd bring one dollar short on purpose.

"Um, I can't pay for that right now, but if you could hold it for me, I'll be back in five minutes." The woman didn't look too convinced, nevertheless gave a small nod in affirmation.

Luckily for E, a pawn shop was conveniently located next to the watch emporium. Perhaps something in his satchel could make up for that dollar. He stepped inside Wacky Jack's Pawn Shop, only to be greeted by a strange man dressed in an outfit between that of a Girl Scout and Captain Underpants. "Heeeyy, you there!" he shouted, flouncing around with his cape.

"Who are you?" E asked quietly, both shocked and thoroughly disturbed.

"I'm God!" he declared with the unmistakable grin of a psycho.

"Really?"

"Nah, I'm Mr. Krager." He strutted around the entire store and behind the counter before getting down to business. "Buying or selling?"

"Uh, selling." E rummaged through his inventory and pulled out a glass jar, the same one that held an invisible gold fish nearly one year ago. "Would you pay a dollar for this jar?" Mr. Krager snatched it and searched it over for any cracks; it looked brand new.

"Sonny, I'd pay you ten dollars for this beauty. I've wanted a denture case for quite some time now, but every case I saw was too small. This is perfect!" He opened up his register and pulled out a ten dollar bill. "There you go, kid. Come back again sometime!" Edgar waved back with a plastered smile. _Negative._

"Well, I've certainly had my doubts, but it seems you really do have the money after all," said the woman back at the watch emporium. She had been counting the bills in cash for over twenty minutes until every dollar had been accounted for. E swelled with pride and carefully placed the thick, legendary pocket watch in his satchel. It was beautiful; hand-designed antique, never required batteries, and all in pure gold. "Have a nice evening!" she called out, but Edgar was already out the revolving door.

At the Frankenstein place, Victor drilled in the finishing touches to the portal to make it impervious to lightning shock. He didn't know how large the watch was going to be for the dock, so he calculated the circumference of a Californian orange and subtracted an inch from the width. He shut off the hand drill when he heard a knock on his laboratory/attic door. "Mom?"

"Victor, it's me!" E's voice replied. Victor turned to the door, and then at his desk clock. It was exactly 6:00pm. He stood up and let him inside. "Hey, I have it; I have the watch!" Edgar gingerly unveiled the antique and held it up for Victor to see. It really was something to behold.

"How did you—this must have cost a fortune!" Victor began to panic; no elementary science project should ever cost someone more than twenty bucks.

"Not really. Only like, three hundred thousand dollars," E said casually. Victor almost asked where in the world did he obtain three hundred grand, but reminded himself that it wasn't his business. If he knew the price was going to be that high, he would have just dropped the whole thing then and there; now that they did have it, they've passed the point of no return.

"Wow, err, good job! Would you like to do the honors of placing it inside?" E's face lit up as he unwrapped the watch and set it securely in the dock. The boys stepped back to admire their creation and project. The time machine was complete.


	4. Sparky's Adventure and Other Matters

**Author's Note: Mrrrroww!** **Hello again, and welcome back for this next chapter of **_**Join the Family Business**_**. We've got some exciting scenes in this one, so I cordially invite you to expand your imagination beyond Mel Brooks' **_**Young Frankenstein**_** as you know it. Transylvania is home to several forests, so please refrain from flaming. Thank you!**

Victor's ears picked up the sound of his garage door closing. Mr. Frankenstein appeared in the family room where Victor and his mother were watching one of their shows, "How It's Made". "Hey, there's my favorite two people in the whole world!" He moseyed around the couch and sat between the two of them, pulling them in for a group hug.

"Evening, love. How was your day?" Mrs. Frankenstein brought the television's volume down a few decibels.

"Tedious and exhausting, but I closed the deal! Our new neighbors will be moving in before the week is out!"

"Oh, Edward that's wonderful! Isn't that right, Victor?" Victor's focus broke from the program and nodded in agreement.

"Yeah Dad; that's really great."

"I've been looking forward to spending time with you, Son. When can your mother and I see your science fair project?" Victor froze in his seat. He'd forgotten that he promised his parents that they would be the first to witness the world's first time machine in action.

"Uh, well, E and I finished it yesterday. It's sitting in the attic if you want to see it." The adults turned to each other and shared a smile.

We'd love that," said his mother. "Show us the way?" Victor led them upstairs to the attic and slid the protective covering off the portal. Father Time's pocket watch gleamed in its dock, ticking steadily to the heartbeat of the universe. "Wow, this is really something!" she exclaimed beside her husband.

"No kidding," he replied, staring in awe. "Does this actually work?" Victor shrugged his shoulders, secretly hoping it wouldn't. The thing with a time machine is that it holds too much power. If word got out that a sixth grader held the keys to endless possibilities, anyone could take advantage over it and cause planet-wide panic!

"We never tried anything yet, but I think it works." Victor scanned the controls on the side panel of the portal and followed the wires to an open outlet. With a quick yank, he disconnected the power to ensure a failure. "All set! Now I just need a date to test this on."

"Oh, I know!" Mr. Frankenstein articulated with wide eyes. "1950! I've always wanted to see a Jersey Boys concert, but they split before I was around to enjoy them."

"Alright, we can try the 50s." Victor punched in 1950 on the panel and flipped down the lightning current switches that collected power from the storms. "This should do it!" He pushed down on the foot pedal that opened the portal, but to his relief nothing happened. He saw his father's hopeful grin disappear and instantly felt terrible about not trusting them with his secret. "Sorry Dad. I guess it doesn't work after all."

"No, no, don't be sorry. You tried your best with it, but turning back time just isn't realistic, you know?" Victor nodded. His father placed an arm on his shoulder and said with a grin, "You know what your grandfather used to say when something didn't work out for him? He'd say that we should all accept our failures as well as our successes with quiet dignity and grace." Victor chuckled to himself.

"Thanks, Dad. I'll remember that."

The next day was a school day, and the possibility of the machine's success was driving Victor mad with anxiety. What if it really does work and is exposed at the science fair? What if it doesn't and E would have spent a fortune on a lost cause? Either way fate chooses, he cannot win. And with that joyous thought in mind, class resumed.

Today was experiment discussion day in which the competing students informed their peers exactly what they were up against...almost like the Hunger Games with Mrs. Klymdred as the Gamemaker. "Toshiaki, Bob: you have the floor."

Naturally, the other students scanned the room for the ones in the spotlight. Bob was the only one standing. "Err, it's just me. Toshiaki's out today guys, but he asked me to deliver his speech for him." Bob pulled out a pamphlet with his friend's sharp handwriting on it and began to read it aloud. "My fellow classmates and Missus 'Kill em' dead', this science fair, the future of traveling will forever be changed when you see this! Bob, show them the magnetic sneakers...Oh!" He unzipped his backpack and brandished a pair of regular gym shoes with strips of metal attached to the bottom. "You see that they look like something your mother would put on before exercising unless you are Bob, but you have not seen anything like this before! The Earth has magnetic properties in its core, and like most magnets, the Earth is polar. With a touch of a remote, the positive magnetization will repel the forces in the northern hemisphere, thus lifting the shoe-wearer sky high regardless of weight. Imagine hovering from Beijing to New Holland with little or no pollution in six hours! I conclude speech now. Thank you." The class clapped half-heartedly at the awkwardly written presentation as Bob took his seat with pride.

Back at Victor's house, Sparky opened his eyes and groaned. Living on a charger was hardly a life at all, not to mention how awfully boring lying around becomes. A light rain poured outside with a few bolts of lightning to match. He cocked his head toward the time machine on the other side of the room, instantly curious as to what it was. He pulled himself up to a standing position and wriggled himself free from the electrical wires that surrounded his undead form. Like most bull terriers, Sparky began to sniff around the unidentified foreign object; he concluded that something inside it was very expensive.

Bzzzzt. A lone fly circled around Sparky's head and landed on the ruby red foot pedal on the portal. "Arf! Arf!" he barked, pouncing on the pedal with all his weight. At that moment, the lightning rod was struck and all the energy in reserve enveloped every electrical current. A bright blue light swirled inside the opening, beckoning him to enter its domain. So he did.

The sensation was frightening; it was all too new. Sparky felt a new tingling in his system that would sustain his energy for a long while. His sense of smell reached new heights, for no aroma in this new land appeared familiar. He found himself in a forest of pine trees where no light save the full moon shone upon the earthy floor. A distant rumbling met his ebony ears: first of horses and then of wagon wheels. If he made himself heard, Sparky reasoned, someone might help him return to Victor. _Arrrrrooooo!_ he howled.

The wagon was a stone's throw away now. Sparky sat at attention to the voices about to follow. "Werewolf," whispered a young woman from somewhere inside the wagon full of hay.

"Werewolf?" repeated another voice, this time more American in articulation.

"There," said a third voice from somewhere near the front. Sparky couldn't see a face among his all-black attire. "There wolf. There castle." Sure enough, a magnificent castle stood out at the top of a hill.

"Why are you talking that way?" inquired the second voice that reminded Sparky of Mr. Frankenstein's "I'm-lost-in-this-discussion" tone.

"I thought you wanted to." The third person turned his head in Sparky's direction, exposing a pair of bulging, mismatched eyes.

"No, I don't want to," replied the second one, who was evidently trying to make sense of the pun.

"Suit yourself. I'm easy." The wagon came to a stop as the figure in black gestured to the castle on the hill. "There it is—home." Sparky dashed toward the hill at the word, eager to return home and back to Victor where everything made sense. An eerie bright blue orb bobbed behind him to show him the way. Sparky decided to chase the orb further into the forest until the moonlight disappeared from view. In the total darkness, he caught the orb and found himself home, just in time for Victor's return from school.

Meanwhile, Sparky's boy was preoccupied with another matter. As he exited the school grounds towards his bicycle, Elsa Van Helsing cleared her throat behind him. "Hey Victor." He spun around and stood up to face her.

"Hi, Elsa. What's up?"

"Nothing really, but people have been talking about you." Victor wasn't surprised. With his reputation, it was only a matter of time before he became the most conversed gossip topic in the entire sixth grade.

"About what?"

"The project you're doing with E. What is it anyway?" Conflict arose in Victor's mind; he really didn't feel comfortable showing off such an invention.

"Um, it's a device that people can use to..." What was he supposed to say? _Teleport through time? Alter events in the past? _"...relive memories," he finished.

"Interesting. Can you show me sometime?" she asked curiously.

"No! I mean, I can't show you what it does, because it...doesn't work!" Elsa raised a suspicious eyebrow.

"An invention you made for the science fair doesn't work?" She was on to him now.

"E made it too! It was his idea all along." His answer seemed to suffice for now.

"Right. Well, I'll see you later, Victor."

"See you," was all he could say. As soon as she turned the corner, his sixth grade boy ego flooded back to him. "Gosh, I'm so stupid!" He turned down a date with Elsa, who more than likely felt lonely and excluded from his life since the science fair began, and now he had to deal with the silly, little rumors floating around the campus. This was not his day, and truth be told, wasn't his partner's either.

"What do you mean you won't tell us?" Bob shouted at Edgar, who had gained quite a bit of courage since the year before.

"Don't worry about him, Bob." Nassor hulked beside him and glared E with bored eyes. "His idea didn't even pass the board." _Neither did yours, _E thought to himself.

"Yeah, but it didn't fail either, otherwise Klymdred would have said so!"

"Which is it?" the gothic boy demanded.

"I don't know," E retorted coolly. "First she said we could build it, and then she said it wasn't testable." He was not going to let the two bullies have their satisfaction anytime soon.

"I told you what Toshiaki and I are making! It's only fair that we know what your project is," Bob complained. E searched around for a good excuse and settled on the one they used against him last year.

"You didn't tell me anything about carbonated soda rockets."

"That's because it was double top-secret!"

"Yeah? Well that makes mine _triple _top secret!" Edgar sidestepped from their spotlight and headed home. "Have a nice day!" he called over his shoulder. Bob and Nassor looked dumbstruck at their foiled plan of investigation. Since when did E Gore have more backbone than usual?

**A Message from CityCat: That's all for this chapter folks! Next chapter we'll dig deeper into Young Frankenstein (don't you worry, Mel Brooks fans!). If you like the story thus far, please let me know through a review! I do take suggestions, so if there is something you'd like to see later on in this fanfic, don't hesitate to notify me. **

**-CityCat**


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